The Tiger at Home

So says James Taranto:

Dear Mrs. Clinton,

The Associated Press reported yesterday that you say you “will remain in the presidential race ‘until there’s a nominee.’ ” We were glad to hear it, but then we read the very next sentence: “The former first lady declined to say whether that meant through the roll call of the states at the Democratic National Convention this summer.”

We hope you’re just being coy, because so much is at stake here, and we hear lots of Democrats are urging you to call it quits. …

Do you think George McGovern really has the best interests of the party at heart? Think about it. For 36 years he has been known as the guy who lost 49 states, and that’s got to grate. For 24 years he has been known as the first guy who lost 49 states. George McGovern is 85 years old. He won’t get many more chances to see someone lose 50 states. …

We see from this morning’s USA Today that you’re picking up this theme, telling the paper: “There was just an AP article posted that found how Senator Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans is weakening again. . . . I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on.”

This is generally quite good. It’s an especially nice touch ending the sentence with a preposition; it shows that you aren’t one of those pedantic eggheads who want to take away guns and force them to go to college. You know that Mr. Arugula would say, “. . . on which to build a winning coalition.” …

Sure, things look grim now, but you’ve survived worse. Remember how you and Bill stared down the vast right-wing conspiracy? They thought they would destroy his presidency and your marriage. Instead, you’re a U.S. senator and he’s in line to be the first male first lady. So buck up, work hard, and play by the rules, bending them a little if you have to. You can still win this thing. Yes, you can.

Lovely.